always be honest, except for when you lie

Friday, October 15, 2004

happy birthday sister

tomorrow is my sister's birthday and i only just thought of it a few minutes ago. we aren't speaking really. last christmas she went berserk so i told her that i have enough regular every day berserk in my life and don't need or want her brand any more. i invited her to my kids' birthday parties over the summer...she came to both but only stayed minutes at Girl's party because of mental issues she could not overcome. again. so i remembered that my birthday is on the 19th, that my sister's daughter's birthday is on the 20th but hers escaped me entirely.

it's not that i don't love her - it's that she doesn't know how to love me.

the funny thing about being the strong one is that you always have to take the first step to reconcile. her being of limited emotional strength makes it near impossible for her to do the right thing. don't get me wrong...she's good people. problem might be that she doesn't know that.

so do i call her tomorrow? it would be weird given that i never call her any other time. but who cares about weird? weird goes away quick. i just don't want that craziness in my life when i have a one year old and 3 year old and a husband with a heavy work load and poor work ethic. used to be that Sister could be my focus when she needed to be my focus by christ sake, who has that kind of time now?