always be honest, except for when you lie

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

the importance of being better than you used to be

You know, before I had kids I thought I was pretty alright. I was a good person, didn't drink to excess, didn't do drugs. I've never been to prison and it's not just because I've never been caught. I do good, am good and think I contribute a certain amount to the world I live in. So I thought.

I was wrong.

I suck.

It took the arrival of the two most wonderful people I've ever met to show me that I fall short as a human being on almost every level.

Gosh, not good news.

It's not that I've changed. No No. I'm the same old me. Good old me.

Good Old Me.

I suck.

Who knew I was so mean, so inclined to not let a poor child have chocolate milk and cookies for breakfast. Who knew I was going to be hell bent on ruining the day with my mommy rules. Don't kick the dog. Stop poking your sister. Don't pull your brothers hair.

Don't Put That In The Toilet! Again!

Who knew I could get so loud?

Alright my husband knew but still.

I always thought I was plenty good enough but it turns out no matter what you gotta step it up a notch when you have kids. Hell, some people gotta step it up a hundred notches. Me, just the one notch because, like I said, I wasn't so bad to start off with.

I was pretty good.

Not good enough, it would appear, but pretty good.

And getting better every day.

Every. Single. Day.