always be honest, except for when you lie

Thursday, January 06, 2005

burn the socks, baby, we're moving to spain

I've got this problem. It's not a big deal. It's just a thing. You know.

I don't like socks. Don't like to wear them, wash them and especially match them up and put them away. I could go the whole of my life never seeing another sock. It's that bad.

I've got this other small problem.

I hate winter.

Some people love it. They look forward to it. They get excited about it and can't wait to go into the basement and dig out their snow pants and wooly mittens.

These people are beyond my comprehension. They're like aliens. Weird little green people who don't know any better. Maybe the planet they came from is worse than winter. Gosh, how sad is that. I feel bad for the martians. I do.

I still hate winter. And socks.


I've got a plan!

We're gonna move to spain!

Burn the socks before we go!

Spain, if you don't know, does not have winter. They do not have snow. Yeah, that's right. No snow. Which must also mean no little green aliens and that's good too.

Picture me, sock free, shorts all year. Might even get me a tan. Damn, I'll probably give up cookies altogether. I only eat them by way of holding back the deep winter depression.

We'll come back for christmas. Everyone likes snow at christmas.

All that's left to do is convince my husband. He's dead set against it right now and frankly I'm concerned he's one of the martians but I won't give up. I mean to live in Spain and no winter loving weirdo is gonna get in my way.

No way. No how.