always be honest, except for when you lie

Saturday, November 20, 2004

drop it like it's hot

There is a Loop of Cool and I am miles and miles out of it. Yesterday I learned this lesson while watching Much Music, which is the Canadian version of MTV. During this 30 minutes I can never get back I discovered many things I did not know. Among them the new phrase being bandied about the Popular Vernacular: Drop It Like It's Hot.

I gather that one time rapper turned actor returned to rapper Snoop Dogg coined this particular phrase. I saw the video last night. I'm not cool enough for this song. I'm sure it'll grow on me. I'll make sure it does. I want back into The Loop.

The only thing worse than being out of The Loop is forgetting that The Loop exists. The startling news that it in fact does dragged me out of my jammie wearing stupor long enough to say - hey, drop it like it's hot.

It just occurred to me that those within The Loop would likely take serious issue with it being called The Loop. There is no doubt a far hipper term that I am not privvy to.

What the hell happened to me?

I got old. Oh God, I'm old. And saying Drop It Like It's Hot when you're old like me just comes off as desperate and goofy. Think back to your mom dancing around the kitchen with her apron on, tea towel over her shoulder and slippers flapping against the pink and green flowered linoleum. She'd just picked up on the latest moves six months behind everyone else and butchered them right in front of your eyes. Mortifying you to the core of your being. That's me now. Dropping it like it's hot and looking like an old woman in her silly apron who should get back to baking her cookies and making her PTA phone calls before dark. Because women like me don't do anything after dark. It's not proper.

And if I am nothing else I am certainly proper.

I also saw the new Destiny's Child video last night and beyond not knowing what I should say if ever faced with a social situation requiring knowledge of current slangology I decided I want long hair again because fuck if that Beyonce's hair doesn't fly around like magical beauty. I used to have long flowing hair that would have looked really neat if I danced around in unison with my girlfriends, shaking my booty and whatnot as a large fan blew just the right amount of wind at my head. I only cut it for a change but I can grow it back like THAT and I'm so gonna. And then I'll get my friends to come over for a dance-off type thing. It's gonna be cool. And then we'll drop it like it's hot.

I'm still not clear how that one works. What am I dropping and should I wait til it cools down before I pick it up again? Does anyone know? I don't want to cock it up because I would not look cool if I cock it up.