always be honest, except for when you lie

Friday, December 24, 2004

the magic santa fireplace

At my book club meeting last month my friend said she and her husband had been talking about what they would tell their kids if they ever asked how Santa got in the house. They don't have a fireplace and as everyone knows Santa comes down the chimney and if there is no fireplace, what? Santa drops down the chimney, plops at the bottom, sits there calling for help, squashed under the weight of xboxes, stuffed animals, barbies and whatnot. Only to expire as mommy and daddy lay there asking...

Do you hear that?


That. Sounds like a cat screeching under a bag of toys.

Oh, Yeah.

What is that?

Beats me. Turn off the light. I'm tired.

My friend said that someone she knows bought a huge picture of a fireplace and taped it to the wall every Christmas. She told her kids it was magic and Santa came through there.

Good idea.

I said my kids would never ask about the santa fireplace thing. I never did. Never even thought about it so why on earth would any child?

Super Boy asked two days later.

So! I bought four sheets of poster board, taped them together, had Artist Husband draw a firepalce with logs (but no fire because we don't wanna burn Santa's ass off) and the kids and I colored it up.

Such Fun!

And now we have, thank god, somewhere for Santa to get in. The Magic Santa Fireplace is ready for action. So Santa, if you're reading, come on down and...if you like...bring me an ipod.