always be honest, except for when you lie

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

does my bum look smaller to you, does it, yeah?

As you know I have been going to the gym again with the hope (intention!) of finally once and for all time losing the post baby weight. I know, how boring. Another woman in her thirties trying to look like she did in her twenties because she just refuses to believe it's all over. I know.

But listen, really. I love the gym. I'm one of those people. I feel better if I go, worse if I don't. I like the competitive feeling at the gym. You know, I can lift more than that guy. The one in the back there with the huge neck and biceps the size of my waist. The only difference between him and me is a few months work.

That's the way I look at it.

Only thing is right now when I go (at 7am) there are mostly old ladies working out. No, silly, OLD ladies, not ladies in their thirties who refuse to say goodbye to their twenties body. Don't be mean now. I'm talking about women in their seventies. Nothing wrong with women in their seventies but Mary Mercy if I am not lifting more than them I need to put the dumbell down and go the hell home. All is lost, shut up, it's over.

Thankfully, I do lift more than (most) of the old ladies so whew.

My point though, getting back to it, is my bum. My bottom. My backus sidicus. The part you admire as I depart. Looks good, no? It's all the squats I do. I highly recommend squats. And dead lift. I love the dead lift. I discovered the dead lift a few years back and it's rock star awesome. Love it. I mean, look. Look at my bum. How can you argue? The squats and dead lift work, yeah? Go ahead, look. Enjoy.

Ok, that's enough. No need to oggle. God. You're making me a little uncomfortable. That look in your eye. Let's just take it back a bit. Up at the eyes now , buddy. The eyes.

There. Good. Thanks. Crisis averted.