always be honest, except for when you lie

Thursday, December 02, 2004

what i've won this week alone

Something happened recently. I got put on the Mailing List Of Joy and Good Fortune. And Brother, this is some exciting business. So far this week I have won the following:

A flat screen tv, another flat screen tv, a big flat screen tv, an ipod, a computer, another computer, three other computers, a degree in forensics from a University in Phoenix, lotion, a ten pound weight loss (woohoo!), 5 cell phones, a fortune teller, mittens, a lint remover, a map to where Jimmy Hoffa is buried, a thirty minute visit with the guy who cleaned the sets on Seinfeld, dog food for one full year, another computer, lint, a dirty fork and someone to take out my garbage for one full year (woohoo!).

I mean, am I lucky or what! I did nothing to deserve this. Don't even know how I got on the list! I've racked my brain trying to figure it out and all I've come up with is that I must be good. I must be a shining example of Peoplehood. Deserving. What other explaination could there be?

None of my winnings have shown up at the house yet but I'm sure they will. The emails said so. Emails never lie. They never ever lie.

I've got my fingers crossed that the lint brush comes today because I'm going out and wanted to wear those black pants that attract every kind of fluff. Come onnnn lint brush! Come on!