always be honest, except for when you lie

Friday, January 14, 2005

the undergarment obsession, chapter six

I'm back on bras. You okay with that? Bras? Because I've got some things to say about bras.

Hate 'em.

Some women like them. Some women own hundreds of them. Hundreds. And they're not cheap so that's a lot of bras. They collect them like other people collect 98 cent underpanties. But 98 cent underpanties make perfect sense because A they fit nice and feel good and B they are cheap like CHEAP.

I do not like bras.

Not that you can get away without them. If you're a girl and you've got boobs.

I'm a girl and I've got boobs.

So what am I gonna do? I gotta wear a bra. The thing I've come to realize, finally, after all these years, is that some bras look good on some people and some bras look good on other people.

And when I say people I mean women, If you're a guy and you're wearing a bra All The Power To Ya but why! I mean why!

Anyway, back to me because thats what this is all about. Me. And my bra issues. Slash concerns. Slash annoyances. Slash I gotta find a style I like and be done with it already.

I don't know how I'm gonna do it. Find the perfect bra. I've talked about it before. Finding the perfect bra and I think I decided it was an impossible dream. I've changed my mind. I will not give up. This life is long and it's gonna be hard if you go through it in a rubber band that straps you down and feels like, well, a rubber band cutting you into sections.

I refuse to settle for such a life.

Thing is, shopping for bras is as appealing to me as shopping for golf clubs. I mean, damn. Why not just poke me in the eye and have done with it. It's all the same.

Ah, but it's got to be taken on, this quest for the perfect bra. Perfect for ME because perfect for YOU is not the same as perfect for ME, is it? I know this isn't going to be easy but I am up to the task. Not like I don't have a million other things to do though. The least of which being a thousand abdominal exercises a day because I've gone and said I was going to have rock hard abs. That and write a novel. And read. I keep saying I'm going to read more. And eat better. And. And. And.

But I'll do it. Add it to the list. At the bottom, though. I'll get to it. Really.

I said really.