always be honest, except for when you lie

Saturday, January 01, 2005

what? what happened? a new year? say what?

Geez. Already. Another year gone by. Well then.

Perhaps it would be fitting for me to remark on this past year.

But I don't wanna. I don't really like to spend a lot of time thinking. I was going to say I don't like to spend a lot of time thinking about The Past but realized today it's the entire concept of thinking that is beyond my scope.

You know what I'd like to do? Sit around and watch tv while eating peanut butter with chocolate. Actually, hang on. I'm sick of peanut butter with chocolate.

Hell just froze over.


There's a marathon of the British What Not To Wear on BBC Canada. I've never seen it and would adore gazing at it all freakin' day. To, you know, celebrate the onset of a new year. And whatnot. Maybe even get some style tips to carry me forward in my ongoing quest for, well, style.

I haven't got any at this time.

I should probably come up with some witty business about New Years Resolutions. As much as I'd like to I can't. Because I just don't friggin' care. Resolutions are so silly that I can't even come up with something funny to say about them.

Ok, I'll try.

In two thousand and five I will -

Try again.

In two thousand and five I will not -

No, sorry. Nothing.

Ok, I've got it. I hereby vow to continue being Me throughout two thousand and five. I promise to grow and develop as a person whether I like it or not and I swear I won't do anything wrong ever.


Except delete that last bit about never doing anything wrong ever. Geez, what kind of a boring turd would I be if I was perfect?

I mean I am perfect, but you know.

It's just that, for as long as I can remember, by the time New Year's Eve comes along I'm pretty worn out from all the festivities and postiveness I've endured that I'm essentially The Queen of Celebratory Humbug. I want my tree down, the clutter uncluttered and if at all possible, the snow gone gone gone.

Not possible, move on.

So forgive my lack of enthusiasm. I would, for each and every one of you, offer something lovely and shiney. If I could. Alas, I cannot.

I do wish you a very Happy Two Thousand and Five, however, with the utmost sincerity. Really. I wish you the best every day. All the time. Not just today and not only this year. I wish you sunny days and sparkly smiles always. You deserve the very best of happiness and I hope it is yours this year, the next and the one after.

Happy Every Day of Your Life!