always be honest, except for when you lie

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

the undergarment obsession, chapter five

Yes, it's that time. Another installment in the ongoing epic of The Undergarment Obsession. Today please steady yourselves for a discussion on, ahem-hem, thongs.

That's right. I said thongs.

Was a time when I held a firm hand up in defiance against ever sporting a thong. Not without having tried them first. I was an informed objector. I'd attempted wearing a thong more than once before finally saying, and saying with some volume (because when I object I am rarely quiet about it) that I would never again subject my girly bits to such torture. I meant it. No more of that nonsense.

Vanity got the better of me. No surprise. Vanity has a way. It's just that I discovered my bum, which as you know is lovely, appears all the lovelier when not cut and quartered by the line of a more traditional panty. I'm saying if you're wearing something tight. Like a gym short or the gold spandex pants that match your leapord print tank top with shelf bra.

You know.

There are only two choices if you don't want a panty line. No, three. I just thought of a third. One is wear a thong, which as I've said can be a bit annoying when it crawls up your bits and refuses to retreat. Two is panty hose and I don't like saying panty hose so I don't want to talk about it anymore. Three is to go commando. Commando sounds good in theory but the ladies in the audience will back me up when I say that this isn't always the most suitable option for let's just say feminine reasons. Ladies? Yeah?

I finally went with the thong. Bought some expensive ones and lo and behold. They don't suck that bad.

Guys, get over the suck reference and move on. Nothing perverse intended.

When it comes to thongs the 98 cent panty policy cannot be applied. A comfortable thong does not come cheap. But a comfortable thong does make the gold tight pants far prettier on the bottom, if ya know what I mean.

(I do not wear gold tight pants)

That's all I have to say about thongs. Thanks for listening. Here are the links to the other UO chapters. See how nice I am. I'm saving you the trouble of looking for them. Now, that's a decent blog thing to do. Yeah? Don't you think? Come on, it is. I think anyway.

chapter one
chapter two
chapter three
chapter four