always be honest, except for when you lie

Sunday, January 16, 2005

and the bells rang three hours before dawn

Oh wait. That's not bells ringing. Silly me. That's my First Born. He's up. Horrah. Five in the morning, dead of winter, up for the long drag of the day.

Here be the list of thing Mommy will not do today and every other day that she is yanked from the warm and lovely of her Nautica bedding at the unchristly hour of five in the a of m:

1. Smile. Sorry. Mommy's smile is worn out from the day before and she was not given sufficient sleep time which, as everyone knows, is required in the recovery of one's smile.

2. Clean. Lord no. You can run rampant about the homestead, felt tipped pen in one hand and lid free cup of grape juice in the other and I will say All The Power To Ya Buddy. If it needs cleaning you might speak with Imaginary Maid but when I saw her this morning she told me to feck right off so I don't think that's a viable option.

3. Play. Get over it.

4. Cook. Drive to Wendy's if you get hungry. Or eat fruit. It's that juicy lovely stuff that grows on trees and whatnot.

5. Tolerate Insubordination. From Anyone.

6. Find Anything. If you don't see it, it's lost and if it's lost, it is staying there. I might go find it so I can be lost with it but I will not find it to get it for you.

Now Lookit, I'm a good mom and a good wife and I will be back to myself but for this day and any other where you cruelly wake me up before it is normal and natural to be up I will not be my usual sun shiney self and I am sorry for that.

Bad News, Brother.

Get Over It.

If you let me nap later I might be willing to ammend the list.


Now go do your own thing and leave me be in my sleep deprived grump.