always be honest, except for when you lie

Monday, January 24, 2005


Tell everyone where we're going. Check.

Convince Husband that going is a good idea. Check.

Start kids brushing teeth. Check.

Glance through fave blogs while they do so. Check.

Scream for children to stop splashing water all over one another. Check.

Continue reading blogs, knowing they are still splashing. Check.

Take toothbrushes from children. Check.

Carry Miss Baby Girly Girl into hall and put her on the floor to carry on with her I-Don't-Want-To-Stop-Brushing-Teeth fit. Check.

Run upstairs to get clothes for kids. Check.

Scream down two floors to Husband, WHAT??? Check.

Strain to hear him ask if There Are Any Towels Anywhere??? Check.

Yell back HANG THE HELL ON. Check.

Dig through laundry basket in master bedroom to find two socks that match for Super boy, fail, dig more to find clean towel for Naked Guy waiting in the basement bathroom, succeed. Check.

Run down to main floor, towel in one hand, one white sock in other. Check.

Stop at living room to break up fight over empty toilet paper roll currently being used as Bad Guy Zanger Banger Bapper Whapper. Check.

Threaten time outs on the way down to basement. Check.

Throw towel into bathroom and tell Naked Guy to make sure there's one there before he gets in the shower. Check.

Ignore his mutterings. Check.

Go into laundry room to find sock that matches one on left hand. Dig, Dig, Dig, Curse eighteen times before finding tow other socks that match. Feel guilty for swearing. Check.

Go back upstairs, wrestle Bad Guy Zanger Banger Bapper Whapper away from children and throw it in the grabage, declaring that it's a dirty toilet paper roll so why are you fighting over it anyway! Check.

Dress children. Check.

Tell Naked Guy that his shirts are in his drawer, second from top, left side. Check.

Let dog out to pee. Check.

Redress Miss Baby Girly Girl and tell her to stop taking her damned clothes off. Check.

Let dog in. Check.

Take a deep breath. No time. Not checked.

Gather snacks for kids and put them in snack bag without anyone seeing. Check.

Put dishes in dishwahser, make 3 beds, wash windows, vacuum entire house. Check.

Go pee and drag Miss Baby Girly Girl out of bathroom to carry on with her I-Don't-Want-To-Leave-The-Bathroom fit. Check.

Get winter gear to front door and tell kids to begin dressing themselves. Check.

Walk past Husband standing there looking bored. Check.

Ask him to get kids into their boots and jackets. Check.

Get cell phone off of charger, put food in dog's bowls, blog something brilliant, make fresh squeezed orange juice. Check.

Walk past Husband looking bored. Check.

Ask him if he plans on getting kids into jackets and boots. Check.

Ignore him when he says he didn't hear me. Check.

Tell everyone I'm going to go get dressed and brush my teeth and comb my hair and put on my make up. Check.

End up going out in pyjamas and hair in a pony tail because they can't possibly wait for me to get ready. Check.

Get in car, say what a beautiful day it is, back out of driveway, have a great day out. Check.

Deep Breath?

Not likely.