always be honest, except for when you lie

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

mister lightyear! will you please remove your hand from my ass

I'm afraid I've had to have harsh words with both Buzz Lightyear and a certain Caped Crusader over the past few days. There have been unwanted advances made on their part toward my parts. The first few times I passed it off as accidents but there comes a time when a girl has to say Step Off Mister and say so I have.

Last night I found Buzz in my bed. I found him when his pointy index finger reached over and gave me a hey how are you right in the rumpus room.

Batman is just all around fresh. Every time I sit down there he is sneaking under my bum so he can be squashed by all that is glorious in my sit down area.

They aren't the only ones who've developed a disturbing interest in my no no places. Boobah is on my last nerve and will be shown the door if there is one more infraction. I'm telling you. And a small yellow truck with blue windows had better stay clear of me in the shower or there will be words exchanged. It won't be pretty. I've had more than enough.

I'm putting my foot down and if you speak with Mister Lightyear, please let him know that when Husband and I get into our bed and suggle up under our Nautica duvet this evening I expect that he will not be among us. Last warning. Star Command will be notified.