always be honest, except for when you lie

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

three things i am not good at so get over it

1, mailing stuff. I could have millions of dollars but if I have to mail you a cheque* for ten dollars you will wait and wait and wait and die without ever seeing the damned ten dollars. Better you should come over, knock on my door and ask for the money. I'll pay for your flight if you had to fly and will give you an extra tenner for your trouble.

2, answering the door. Oops. That's gonna kind of feck up you coming to pick up your ten bucks. Sorry. But we don't really answer our door. If we didn't know you were coming, ain't likely you're getting in unless you're the Fedex guy or Ed McMahon. So call first and we'll see what we can do. Make an appointment, essentially. Same extra tenner is still in it for you.

3, make or keep appointments. Oops again I guess. Gosh, so sorry. I'm not really good at committments. I have long hair because I'm too lazy to go to the salon. I can't even call to make the appointment and if by some chance I do there is an excellent chance I won't show up. I know. I suck. Whatever.

Looks like you're gonna have to suffer along without the ten bucks I owe you. Bummer, I know. But it's ten bucks and what were you thinking lending it to me in the first place? That was just a silly move.

*cheque is how Candadians spell check. Like write a check for ten dollars. Only write a CHEQUE is the right way.