always be honest, except for when you lie

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

winter sexy

Some people, let's call them teenagers, can look good in winter. They can wear their skimpy little jackets, backsides sticking out from their jeans so you can see their panties, bleach blonde hair flying and happy in the blistering cold wind. They can do this because they are insane. They will not be freed from this insanity until they are about 28 years of age. Sooner if they are early to wed and have babies.

Having babies smartens the brain right up.

I've got two babies and my brain is as smartened as it will ever be.

Therefore! When I go out I may not look ultra lovely. My sass appeal is perhaps lower than in summer. No perhaps about it. I look like a blob with messy hair and dammit. I don't care. These are utilitarian times.

It's Minus Forty Eight.

Now if it perks up. Even a little. A few degrees, let's say. You know, to -25. Well then. You'll be happy to know that I will return to my former gorgeous self. Rest assured. These are temprorary measures. Going out looking like a big old bucket of yuck.

Hang on now, it's not that bad. I mean, I brush my teeth and sometimes my hair. I wear cleanish clothes. My mittens and scarf and boots and North Face Jacket are all of the finest quality and match in the most matchy way. It's not like I throw out every hint of self esteem just because it is wicked cold.

I do mean wicked cold.

When it's wicked cold no one is thinking about sex appeal. They're thinking about staying alive. It's all you can hope for. Unless you are between the ages of 15 and 28 in which case you are, as I said, insane and not thinking at all.

Bleach blond hair blowing in the breeze indeed.

Come on. Tuck it under a hat like a sane person would do and put your britches in your pants before you freeze your sexy right off. Damned fools.

It's minus forty eight degrees!