always be honest, except for when you lie

Sunday, December 12, 2004

the undergarment obsession, chapter 4

If you've been following so far, we've discussed the 98 cent panties, the idea that bras are over priced and the pantie six pack of joy. Today I would like to offer, for your consideration, the importance of the Granny Pantie.

These items are, the men in the group will no doubt agree, not the prettiest of panties. They are usually bigger than the every day garden variety underthings we wear and are not the sort of thing we haul out for a first date or a visit to the obstetrician. Rather, they're the brand of cat we save for those occassions when - well, to be honest there are a number of occassions for which the Granny is a perfect fit. Let's consider them in some detail.

The most common use of the Granny Pantie is during that time of the month during which, without being too graphic, there can be accidents of n icky nature for which our daintier lovelies are not suited. The Granny Pantie is, by nature, not so desireable an item that should it be ruined - stained, if you will - we would cry at its loss.

Also popular and sometimes related is the Granny Pantie during Bloated Times use of the Granny Pantie. Given that these panties tend to be bigger than all others they fit just right during water retentive days. A good fit is essential when it comes to anything that wraps around one's bottom and although the Grannies may not be a thing of beauty they keep many a gal from going ballistic, myself included.

Not to be forgotten are the days on which you go to your underwear drawer and discover that you've fallen behind on laundry detail and the only thing left to wear are the Grannies. They are your Back Up Panties. They give you a Laundry Buffer. Busy lives appreciate this buffer, don't they girls?

Those are the main occassions on which women will rely on their Granny Panties. Much to the chagrin of men everywhere. Sure the guys in our lives would like to burn every Granny Pantie on the planet, they're going to have to accept them as a necessary part of life because as ugly as they are, and we do know they're ugly as hell, we just can't live without them. They serve a purpose. Several, as I've shown here. Until periods, water retention and the need to wash clothes go away Granny Panties will continue to lurk at the back of otherwise sassy underwear drawers. That's just the way it is.