always be honest, except for when you lie

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

i'll call ya later

Actually, I probably won't. Because here's the thing. I suck at phoning people. Suck at it. I currently have 5 people to call, some of them family and some of them have been waiting a long time to hear from me. But I just can't do it. Can't dial the number. Can't make the committment to speak to another human being just now. I feel more and more guilty every day but for some reason I can't bring myself to make a simple phone call.

I hate it.

The kids bug me constantly when I'm on the phone. There is no convenient phone for me to use. I have to look stuff up for the people I'm calling and I can't be bothered. I swear, it just feels like I might as well go to med school, become a surgeon and operate on fifty people. It's that big a deal for me to make a few calls.

It's weird. I know.

So I have a plan. I mean to fix this. It starts with none other than Mr. Santa Claus. As you know, I've been at a loss with regard to what I should request for Christmas. Last night it occurred to me that I might kill two birds with one stone. Get something on my list AND take a step in the direction of being a person who has the power to call people back.

Just think.

Therefore I am to ask Santa (good old Santa) for a white phone, corded, with call display on the exterior. Said phone is to be hung directly to the left of where I sit right this moment. In addition, as a stocking stuffer idea, I am going to ask for a long long long windy cord - you know, that goes from phone proper to base - so I can travel around my kitchen with the thing. Since I know everyone will wonder, I don't want cordless. We have two cordless phones in this house and they are never charged, never available, never to be found. Enough of that malarky.

There it is. My Two Birds One Stone Plan.

I'm sure you can see how this is just short of brilliant. Or not really brilliant so much as a pretty good idea, way to go me. But listen, it means I'll be able to call you back if you leave me a message. Not til after Christmas. Probably not til January, really, because Husband Great Guy will have to run a new line to the kitchen. So better make it February. Or March even. These things take time to implement. We're busy people. But it will happen! I will, some day, be able to return your call fear not!

Not that you have my number and no you can't have it, but you know, I'm just saying.